Queen G











{15.07.10}   REMINISCING

I was young, a teenager back then. I fell in love, or so i thought, with a boy my age, from my class. It was highschool and there was a lot of first. I remember how he would come over and sit right next to me everytime a subject starts. I remember how each time he sits, just as he sits down, he’d completely turn his face to me and smile, he’d smile like there’s no tomorrow. I remember the thoughts that was on my head the first time i realized what he has been doing. I recall me thinking, what’s with the goofy grin? It all has came back to me how he would join me for breaks and my girlfriends would be like off and leave the both of us. I remember a comment from someone whose name and face escapes me, clearly saying, you look good together. I remember how we’d go out of school together, then right at the gate we’d go our separate ways. I remember during our last year at highschool, he was in a separate class, when we’re dismissed for lunch, he and his friend would wait for me and my friend and because it took us longer than expected to get out of the building, we we’re locked in the building. I remember that during T.H.E. subject, 2 classes are joined together but the boys and the girls are seperate. I would sit by the classroom door which is right across the other classroom’s door, and without purpose or intention, I would catch him eyeing me or me eyeing him. At intramurals, me and his good friend represented our team for a duet singing competition and he would join me practice, even asks me to sing my part to him, I was scared he’d grow tired of me singing that song over and over again. I remembered he even requested me to sing “Dreaming of You” by Selena. Oh the joy and giddiness I recall feeling those days. How young love can bring you that extra high. I know at this age, with this maturity, that it was crazy adolescent hormones that made us think and feel that way but what the heck i reminisce in it. Now, at quarter life, when you fall in love, theres so many things to consider. There are so many things that you can see, a lot of inhibitions and actions are taken into serious consideration. When you love at this age its more of being responsible, being considerate, understanding, careful, trusting, broad-mindedness and its suffocating. Its suffocating to the point that I don’t want it, yet I want and need it. I want to feel the thrill, the mushiness, the excitement. I crave for the feeling of being wooed and grinned at with that silly romantic grin, to be stared at like your the only thing that mattered. I longed for the time when I was waited at, no complaints, no arguments, just the smile that says, I don’t care if I wait, or the look of anticipation when he sees you go out to greet him. The excitement of being together again. The spark when you stare at each other’s eyes and trying to read each other’s mind and hiding it at the same time. When your friends tells you that they see him really into you and they tell you that and say darn your lucky. Well I guess we all have to grow up someday, we all have to deal with age and the “perks” that comes with it, including reality that not everything is rose-filled. But hey, let me be, I just love to reminisce. This way, I get to do a reality check on my life and still say that I am blessed with what I have today in comparison to others. He may be mad, even scary, when I get to be fifteen minutes late but I still get that smile from him though.

I wonder where that highschool guy might be, will I ever see him again? I just hope not. :)

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